Cynical
by WelpLet'sWriteSomeRubbish
Summary: Erskine Ravel has finally been caught. Fletcher Renn and Valkyrie Cain have met once more. Skulduggery is content with his revenge. But what is the price for being Cynical?


Vaurien Scapegrace howled in pain as fire engulfed his body. "My face! My beautiful, female face!" he cried.  
"For God's sake, Scapegrace, _shut **up!**_ " Valkyrie yelled at the miserable man-woman.  
"He's gotten quite attached to that body, hasn't he?" Skulduggery said.  
"Skulduggery, now is **_not_** the time to discuss _Scapegrace's body!_ We're fighting a horde of _zombies_!" Valkyrie said grumpily as she hurled a ball of flame at one zombie and struggled to keep them back with a wall of air.  
"Actually, _you're_ fighting a horde of zombies. _I'm_ adjusting my hat."  
" _Why aren't you helping?! Why are you just **watching?!**_ "  
"It could be dangerous, an unadjusted hat. It might fall off. Then what would I be? A skeleton without enough dress sense to wear a hat. All my dignity, gone."  
"I hate you so much sometimes." Valkyrie sulked. Scapegrace finally stopped burning and frantically touched his face, making sure it was all there. Once he was sure that it was all intact, he immediately tried to run. Skulduggery splayed his hand and the air pinned Scapegrace to the wall. "Do. Not. Try. A. Thing." the Skeleton said coldly. His fury was building up, his silent, deadly fury, and so Scapegrace obeyed instantly and hid behind Valkyrie. Why the Skeleton Detective's anger was rising Scapegrace knew: behind that horde of zombies was Erskine Ravel, the man who killed Ghastly Bespoke. Everyone knew that nothing could stop the Detectives now; the renegades were imprisoned, Darquesse was gone and there were no distractions. Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain would not rest until Ravel was writhing in pain at their feet. Vengeance. That was what fuelled them. Cold, bloody revenge...

"Skulduggery, we found him. We _finally_ found him. I.. I can't believe it. After all this time..." Valkyrie whispered. Skulduggery tilted his head, but remained silent. Before them stood Erskine Ravel, quivering in fear. He held a flame in one hand, illuminating his face. His good looks were gone; there were bags under his eyes, lines creased his forehead and a matted beard clung to his chin. Golden eyes still flashed in his skull, but they were dimmer, duller. A year on the run had definitely taken its toll on the former Grand Mage. "Skulduggery, I swear I...I...I n-n-never w-want-ted t-t-to k-kill Ghastly, I...Swear.." Ravel stuttered, petrified in the presence of the fearful duo that was Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain. Valkyrie spat and turned the air blue with the colourful names she called the traitor before him. "You. You killed Ghastly and Anton. _Killed._ Ordered that Black Cleaver to take Anton's head. Slid that cold knife into Ghastly's back. They were your _friends,_ Ravel. Your allies. Dead, because of you and your evil little schemes. I assure you, Erskine," Skulduggery spat out the name like a foul taste, "We will make sure you experience excruciating pain. Worse than even what Darquesse put you through. You see, letting you die is too easy a punishment. A little bit of pain, and then you are released? God, no. You're coming with us, Ravel. You're in for a world of pain."  
Valkyrie slammed her boot into Ravel's head, knocking him unconscious. Skulduggery hauled his body up and Valkyrie dialled a number. A moment later the immaculately haired, incredibly cocky Fletcher Renn stepped out of the air beside her. Skulduggery laid a hand on Valkyrie's shoulder and Fletcher took her hand. With a soft pop of displaced air they appeared in the Irish Sanctuary. "Ah. Erskine. So _good_ to see you." snarled Grand Mage Sorrows.

"So.. What're you gonna do now?" Fletcher asked Valkyrie awkwardly as they walked by the side of Roarhaven's murky lake.  
"I'm not busy, if that's what you're asking."" Valkyrie replied, a smile on her smiled back, still slightly awkwardly. It had been a while since the pair had talked. "I'd ask if you wanted to go to Australia, but, y'know, too many bad memories." Fletcher grimaced. They stared at each other for a moment. Fletcher took her hand, and they appeared on the roof of Ghastly's old tailor shop. He moved to release her hand, but she grasped his tighter. "Fletch...Everything that happened...Oh, Fletch, I'm so sorry." She said.  
"For what?" Fletcher asked.  
"For Caelan, and Darquesse, and the Reflection and Myra... Please don't hate me, Fletch!" she was silenced by Fletcher, who had drawn her into a deep kiss.  
"Italy?" he grinned. 

"Skulduggery...How...Inventive of you...Constant...Pain..." Gasped Erskine Ravel as he squirmed in his chains, the ghost of a smile playing on his lips.  
"You know me. Nothing but the best for my friends." Skulduggery said, sat on a chair, observing Ravel. Erskine snorted in a mixture of laughter and pain. "Always...A joke...A...Sarcastic...Comment...But...Behind the...Quips...And the...Suits...All there..Is...Is a...D-damaged...Twisted...Cold...Dead man..."  
"How insightful, Erskine, but I daresay, me being me, I already know what's behind my suits."  
"Th-there it...Is...The...B-b-bravado..."  
"Erskine, Erskine, why would I need bravado? May I remind you who's in chains right now?"  
"B-but...You..Don't know...What's...Behind...You.." Ravel grinned widely as the pain cut off. He straightened, arching his back. Skulduggery whirled to see the Black Cleaver, one hand at the pain controls and one hand on his scythe. Twin streams of flames engulfed the Cleaver, but had no effect. The Cleaver pinned Skulduggery to the floor and tore his Smith and Wesson from him, tossing it to Ravel. "You see, Skulduggery," Ravel said slowly, loading and cocking the revolver, "It's really your fault Ghastly and Anton died."  
"How'd you figure that one out?" Skulduggery gasped.  
"You refused to believe in me. In my dreams, in my plans. All this time. Too. Goddamned. Cynical." the gunshot roared. The bullet tore a hole in the Skeleton's skull. He slumped. Dead, before he hit the ground.

Valkyrie got the news in Italy, over a meal with Fletcher. The great Skeleton Detective. Dead. Valkyrie dropped her phone, those words echoing powerfully.

Cynical..Cynical...Cynical...


End file.
